WhenIamKing, the weblog.

Monday, September 3

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

Speaking of ripping things off, the ever-vigilant Jayme explains why stealing is bad. I couldn't agree more. It's true that imitation is a form of flattery, right, but the line by line copying of an entire website is bad form, plain and simple. Seems that she and a few others were actually able to shame someone into pulling their website's design. Nice.

Sunday, September 2

All About Pajamas
I ran my own business for a few years, and for most of that time worked from home. I would usually wake up, make coffee, and get right down to work, often remaining in pajamas until I had to get ready for a meeting or appointment. It was comfortable. Seems that I wasn't alone in the pajama revelation:
Does he still wear pajamas?
During the 1970s, when he was working and living in the Chicago Mansion, he realized there was no need to change at all. If he has company, he puts on a smoking jacket.
But that was then, and this is now.

Thursday, August 30

Anger and Sweat

Who said sit down?!?!

Quicktime problems in IE 5 on Windows? Fix it here.

I Am In Awe
I am at once both excited and relieved to discover (via Ev) the wonder and jubilation that is The Ballmerfunk Music Video. This is a must see, kids. Anticipate the excitement, feel the pain, live the anger. I can't stop watching it. I can't stop watching it!

So It Begins
Ev linked to the JavaBlogger client, and traffic starts to surge. The eyeball power some people weild is amazing.

Wednesday, August 29

My Day Has Been Made
My entire day, perhaps even my week, has just been made. A quick review of my referrer log reveals that you can now get to this page by searching Google for "van down by the river" (the famous Chris-Farley-As-Matt-Foley-Motivational-Speaker-line). It would seem I'm at the top of the list for this search!!!

Nothing could possibly please me more than this wonderful association.

Wow, talk about a ripoff! This site is a complete theft of the Blogger interface, down to the smallest detail. Except it's green.

Tuesday, August 28

JavaBlogger 0.1b is available. Many bugs fixed. Several improvements made. For example, it now displays post results or error messages in the status bar the way you'd expect it to. As well as other things. So go get it.

Monday, August 27

With the release of Windows XP, Microsoft has made IE 6 available for download. I was running the beta for a while, and was overall pretty pleased with the performance - especially where CSS compliance was concerned. Of course you need Windows 98, Me, NT, or 2k to use it.

This spoof on Windows XP is hilarious! It's interactive flash, and absolutely captures the true essence of Microsoft Windows. Sound is recommended.

A unix programmer, a mac programmer, and a windows programmer were in a car, going through the mountains, when suddenly the car's brakes stop working. They got pretty scared as the car was going faster and faster and they could hardly control it.

Finally, mostly by luck, they manage to stop the car at the edge of a very high cliff. They get out of the car slowly, and start examining the situation.

The unix programmer looks at the car and says, "I think we can fix that. Let me look at the brakes."

The mac programmer says, "No, I don't think that's such a great idea. I think we should take it to town and have it examined by a trained specialist."

The windows programmer says, "Guys, let's not jump to conclusions. Let's restart the car, get in, and see if it does that again..."


Friday, August 24

Okay, JavaBlogger 0.1a is back up. Go get it.

This is one of the coolest things I've seen in a while: The smallest bull ever made.
The bull, made from synthetic resin with a laser technique called two-photon photo-polymerization, is the smallest model animal ever made
Now if they had really wanted the media attention, they would have created the smallest Rocky statue ever made. That would be impressive. But the bull ain't bad. Bull link via LGF.

Update: We're updating the JavaBlogger alpha, so the link is broken right now. Stay tuned.

Thursday, August 23

Okay, here is the URL for our (very very alpha) JavaBlogger client. It's buggy but it works. You'll need to have a JRE or JDK installed (see Sun for that) in order to run it. I've included a basic readme.txt file with more details.

So what are you waiting for, go download it now and let me know how it works.

Or check out a screenshot.

Okay! Looks like our JavaBlogger client is ready. I'll be posting it later on, stay tuned for the URL.

Yeah, yeah, I know this article is a bit old, but it's a classic. Here:
The marrow went on the bread smoothly, like chunky peanut butter. As a medical professional, I tend to frown on cannibalism, but when I bit into that marrow-coated bread, all bets were off. The taste was heavenly, like a subtle mixture of persimmons, guava and Alaskan king crab.
Kudos to The Onion for keeping it real all these years, for doing things their way, for never selling-out.

The Stink Is Gone! A 7lb possum creates quite a stink, but it's gone now. Really. Safe to come back to the house.

You asked for it, you got it: Links no longer open new windows here at WIAK. For the neophytes among you, in Windows or *NIX, hold down the SHIFT key when you click a link to open it in a new window. If you're a Mac user, hold down COMMAND and click. Now you must take on this new weight, shoulder this new burden. You'll come running back home, trust me on this. I know your type.

Wednesday, August 22

Turns out I won't need a new well-pump after all! Despite the fact that it melted its fittings after lightning struck the telephone pole near our house, it turns out that it's still in top shape. The tech told me that if it had enough heat and pressure to melt the PVC pipes and fittings, it should have also melted it's inner parts as well. So we just got lucky this time around.

I'm posting this with our JavaBlogger client running in MacOS X. It's amazing how my hum-drum interface takes on new life inside of Aqua. We won't be releasing it today as we'd hoped, but tomorrow looks realistic. We're close!

Testing 1-2-3. Posting with our new JavaBlogger client.

Sick and tired of new windows opening up every time you click a link? Or is that your style? Or are you a high-maintenance type who wants to control it yourself and constantly change your mind, California-style?

Own Your Emotions!
Should links open new windows?

Current results

Now is your chance to change history. Don't miss out again.

Tuesday, August 21

We're still hard at work on JavaBlogger (the world's first cross-platform, pure Java Blogger-XML-RPC client) - due for release tomorrow (!) and available for download from the IronMedia website.

Other News: So MacOS 9.2.1 is available for download now. I've installed it and can't tell a difference. But who cares, I'm current, right? We'll see if it was worth the 82MB download.

MacOS 9.2.1

Monday, August 20

Hacking Hotmail made easy.

An English Lesson

cocksure, adj.
1. Completely sure; certain.
2. Too sure; overconfident.

We're building a Java application that will talk directly with Blogger, just like blogbuddy. Except we're building it in Java. It will be cross-platform. It will be given away for free. It will make your life 100% better. You will again have a reason to live. Please let me know if you would like to test this trend-setting tool.

Hey kids! It's Cheesy Web Poll Time ™!

Cheesy Web Poll
What Should Dan Spend His Tax Refund On?

Current results

So vote already!

Sunday, August 19

I am Jack's total lack of surprise.

Jakob Neilsen on the lameness of drop-down menus. Finally he's making some kind of sense. I've always thought that drop-down menus on websites were stupid. I've often told this to clients ... usually to no avail. What does Jakob have to say? Here:
However, the limited interaction widgets available to designers has led to overuse and misuse of drop-down menus, creating usability problems and confusion.
Right on, brother.

Saturday, August 18

Having a UPS in your home when a power outage happens is very convenient. Having several allows you to continue to browse the web and even update your weblog while simultaneously calling for pizza and listening to the radio.

Friday, August 17

Trust me, you haven't lived until two grown men in filthy, insulation-covered jumpsuits use a 6 foot long 1x4 with nails through the end to drag the rotting, stinking carcass of a 7 pound possum from the attic of your house.

Samak Sundaravej is my kind of Governor. Tired of thieves in your city? No problem, just put a curse on the stuff they're stealing. He also put a curse on corrupt police officers shortly after he was elected (via lgf).

Okay, I'm selling my other computer now too (you can tell that the wireless-laptop bug has made me rethink my home-network, can't you). It's an AMD K6-2 450 with 128MB memory and a dandy video card, 3Com network card, yada yada yada you don't really care do you? If you do want to buy this thing (a few hundred bucks could make it yours), please let me know.

Thanks to a quickly-written PHP script, you may now tell me what's on your mind. So go ahead and fill out the form, send me some feedback, tell me something I need to know.

Thursday, August 16

I am posting this with a dandy new app called blogbuddy. It's simple, fast, and easy to use - and even works through the restrictive password-based proxy server where I work.

Finally an escape from the tedious and unreliable Blogger interface ... at least for a while.

Be on Palm? Youbetcha!

monkey boy got hurt

I have watched Steve Ballmer dancing like a monkey about fifty times since my first post about it. I watch it at least twice a day if not more. I often double-size it or watch it in full screen mode. If anyone has a better quality recording of it, please tell me where I can find it. The image of him bursting from the dark corner of the stage, arms flailing tyrannosaurus-like, neck and back stiffly imobile ... it's a haunting vision that always brings a smile to my face.

I don't think this means something is wrong with me, the watching and re-watching of Steve's tirade, and I'll tell you why: there is a crucial moment during the romper-room-esque tantrum where it seems that he injures himself. It's true. After he rounds the corner of the screen (stage-right) and runs - skipping like a school girl - past the front of the podium, you can see that his foot comes down HARD on the podium's base. He squeals and throws his head back in pain, but keeps going. You will notice that he limps visibly for a short time afterwards. It's worth another look if you missed that part.

Wednesday, August 15

You know, things never seem to turn out like you've planned. It never fails: whatever you think will happen won't, what you expect to go right goes south, and no matter what, you're suprised with the results.

Why is it always this way? Why do we bother to plan, or even try to bother to plan? Perhaps that's why so many of us are drawn to programming or development. There, you can plan. You can anticipate what will happen with reliable accuracy. And when something goes wrong, you can always trace it back to the origins, and usually just fix it.

Oh well, what are ya gonna do. Forgedaboutit.

Tuesday, August 14

Even better: Kill the X10 pop-under ads for 5000 days! Via Zeldman.

Today is an important day in history. Under pressure from vegetarians who learned that their french fries are flavored with beef tallow, McDonald's has finally released the ingredients used to make their Secret Sauce (refered to on their website as "Big Mac Sauce"). Here's the list:
Soybean oil, pickles, distilled vinegar, water, sugar, egg yolks, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, mustard flour, salt, xanthan gum, potassium sorbate as a preservative, natural flavor (vegetable source), spice and spice extractives, garlic*, hydrolyzed soy, corn and wheat protein, extractive of onion and paprika, calcium disodium EDTA to protect flavor.
So there you go.

Sunday, August 12

I'm selling one of my computers ... my tier-1 system, actually. It's a Pentium 1Ghz with a GeForce2 64mb video card, two 40gb ATA-100 drives, and more, from a name brand manufacturer. Let me know if interested. All serious offers considered.

I'm selling one of my computers ... my tier-1 system, actually. It's a Pentium 1Ghz with a GeForce2 64mb video card, two 40gb ATA-100 drives, and more, from a name brand manufacturer.

People have been telling me to link to Demian's When I Am King Comic, which I didn't even know about.

Always the Rabbit of Hunger, Translated via LGF.

Saturday, August 11

Most of you already know that I've got a wireless network setup in my house. This was much easier - and not much more expensive - than setting up a wired network, and now my wife and I can roam about the place carrying our wireless laptops like a couple of yuppie geeks. When I am king, everybody will be this free.

Friday, August 10

No guest star was featured on more episodes of the series The Love Boat than Charo.

Zoo officials said visitors commonly ignored warning signs and fences to try to cavort with the animals (via Rob).

A recent IRC chat:
    <cf> i made my first bean today, useable in any visual java ide.
    <dan> i created one of many "logs" today
    <dan> usable by even the youngest children
    <cf> logs?
    <dan> "loafs"
    <cf> i see.
    <cf> can developers use them in an ide?
    <dan> absolutely
    <dan> although they have a shelf life
    <cf> the developers would probably need good ventilation.
    <dan> quality has it's tradeoffs
Note that I should probably have said "loaves."

Thursday, August 9

This is totally freaking me out.

Ernie has been laid off. Again.

Wednesday, August 8

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

Tuesday, August 7

Attack of the Clones? For real?

Time for a repost: Sick of X10 pop-up and pop-under ads? click here to get rid of them for 30 days.

The first of a bizarre series of events this morning:
    Phone: Ring!
    Me: Hello.
    Phone: This is Bellsouth, just calling to see that your new phone line has been setup and is working correctly.
    Me: Thanks. But isn't this Sprint territory?
    Phone: (laughing wisely) Yes. It is.
    Me: Um...
    Phone: *click*
And don't forget to check out this page, which cannot be displayed.

The SirCam virus is alive and well, it would seem.


I really feel for my friend whose personal information and private Word documents are being sent to everyone in his address book. Somebody should call him and let him know.

Monday, August 6

Take a look at the cast of The Goonies as they were some fourteen years ago, and then see them as they are today ("Goonies Today" link via Jason). Kinda weird to see those kids all grown up. Most of them are exactly my age. The page also says that they're working on Goonies 2, and that "everyone" will be back.

Speaking of movies, over the weekend we happened to catch two movies with Christoper Walken in them. Amazing how much better one is compared with the other.

Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft, cavorts around like a monkey on crack. This is how I feel when I'm lucky enough to get more than 5 or so hours of sleep in a night, and I dance around and scream just like that. Really, I get that pumped.

Just think, Steve Ballmer is the person who makes the decisions about how you'll do your job and defines the future of the computer industry. Is a man who acts like an angry chicken worthy of your trust?

Just updating things. I realize that all problems exist in my mind. But that doesn't make it any easier.

Friday, August 3

Steal This Look! The always-beautiful Zhang Ziyi (of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fame) singlehandedly redefines the concept of cool in her new movie Rush Hour 2. The reviews are in:
And who should lead the attack against our heroes but Zhang Ziyi, who seems to have time-traveled from ``Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,'' put on a slick leather outfit complete with killer high-heel boots and determined that Jackie Chan is a wimp [...] Zhang, of course, owns the screen, and when she locks boot heels with Sanchez, it's time to get out of the way.
Sounds like Hollywood is finally getting a clue.

The new Mozilla web browser (0.9.3) has just been released. From Mozilla's page:
Now is the time to try Mozilla again if you've been waiting for stability to improve.
And you know what? They're right.

Changing fonts again.

Joan Jett via Ev.

Thursday, August 2

Wired has a write-up about DaliWorld where you can create your own virtual fish and share it with the rest of the Internet.

By the way, Geek is not chic.

The local Starbucks finally got another shipment of the best coffee ever. What a relief. I can finally get on with my life. Stupid holding pattern.

Important Mandate: To those of you who are still using all caps for your html tags (like <TABLE> for example), please go out back and destroy your computer.

Wednesday, August 1

Ultra-comfortable, uber-stylish, just right when enjoying a bowl of well-packed Virginia burley, I present to you the perfect gift for the descriminating man. Yes I'm enjoying them now. No I'm not kidding.

Wednesday's Tip O' The Day: If a company refers to itself as "professional" or uses the term "professionals" to refer to its staff or has the term "professional" in its name, it isn't. You've been warned.

Seems like Netaddress didn't have the heart (or enough sign-ups for their expensive not-free version) to cut off access to their free services yesterday, as planned.

This is a good thing because my humble programmers haven't finished perfecting the webmail scraper yet. But they're close enough to taste it.

Tuesday, July 31

Font change (long wished-for, often imagined, finally implemented) inspired by Dean.

Monday, July 30

Yes, I realize there are no archives.

So my fishtank is for sale, cheap. The entire setup (sans fish) includes the tank, stand, pumps, filters, food, chemicals, test kits, nets ... everything must go. And did I say cheap? If you live in the Orlando area, email me for details.

the tank more of the tank

Saturday, July 28

So I should probably mention that we went to D.C.

This website is probably the most depressing thing I've seen in a while, technology-industry-wise.

Friday, July 27

Don't be upset with me for not posting as often as you'd like me to. It's not my fault. Well, it is my fault, but it's not on purpose. I'm really very busy these days both at work and at home.

It's amazing how easily your life can change with a few decisions made over lunch. How one thing can completely consume most of your waking hours, making everything else take a back seat. But we'll be past it very soon, and I'll be writing about it here.

Other things: In many ways, I don't miss running my own business. I don't miss working insane hours from the confines of my small home-office, never seeing the light of day or breathing the air outside. I do miss the independance, the gourmet coffee, the ability to fire up the meerschaum whenever. But I wouldn't trade what I've got now for what I had then. No, I am enjoying the Corporate World too much to look back. Weird, eh?

Monday, July 23

You are now running on reserve battery power. Please connect yourself to AC power. If you do not, you will go to sleep in a few minutes to preserve the contents of memory.

Interesting: The music I listen to while I write or code seems to have a dramatic effect on the product. Case in point: If I listen to the American Beauty soundtrack, I produce nice, flowing text that seems to have fewer errors. I seem to make fewer typos, but I'm a bit slower overall.

Listening to the Fight Club soundtrack, I notice that I feel more inspired, type faster, and make more mistakes.

Oh, right, I promised I'd tell you about this when it was time. It's time. Why they're describing it as hardcover I have no idea.

Thursday, July 19

I am Jack's shambling doubt.

Wednesday, July 18

I want my comeuppance!

Tuesday, July 17

I picked up a very nice new pipe. It's a dandy, made in Italy by Savoy, with a nice thick stem and a solid bowl. Nothing fancy. Think 1950's style.

Thursday, July 12

I want my comeuppance!

Friday, July 6

Could it be? No.

Thursday, July 5

So yesterday was the Fourth of July. That's a holiday in the U.S. but they celebrate it here in Florida too. The wife and I went with friends to a nice restaurant on the edge of a lake over which the fireworks are exploded.

But instead of the usual 30 minute fireworks display, we were privy to a bizarre 1980's laser-light show projected on a fire-hose generated screen of water, followed by a brief display of "actual" fireworks.

It was fun, the food and company were great, and despite the ridiculous Florida heat, we had a great time.

Did I mention I'm pissed off at Apple? Oh, right, I did. Well I'm still pissed.

Thursday, June 21

From the Microsoft CSS Tool downloads section:
StyleT identifies extenions to CSS that are supported by Microsoft Internet Explorer. This reporting is very useful because it can mean the style sheet may not work in a browser other than Internet Explorer, which tends to be more forgiving that the CSS Level 1 Specification.
IE "tends to be more forgiving" ... interesting word choice.

"Unix was not designed to stop people from doing stupid things, because that would also stop them from doing clever things." - Doug Gwyn

Wednesday, June 20

So you have a tier-1 level Wireless LAN card from a major hardware supplier, but it doesn't seem to work under Mac OS X. You search for the topic over at AppleCare. Seems that Apple provides a "solution" to the problem:
As a workaround, you may use the Startup Disk pane in System Preferences to restart your computer from Mac OS 9.1 when you need to connect to an AirPort network. This is most useful if you also have an Ethernet connection available at a fixed location (for using Mac OS X) and use AirPort for attending meetings or other activities.
In other words, use OS 9 instead of OS X when you want to be wireless. Sorry Steve, but that's not a workaround. Here's an example of a workaround: "Check this box in the control panel, delete this file in the Preferences folder. You'll loose loose the ability to print but you'll still be wireless." Of course I made that up, but you get the idea.

What we've really got here isn't a solution. It's Apple trying to hide behind their innefectual OS X Airport drivers, and leaving a large user-base of non-Airport PowerBook users out in the cold. Fix it soon so we can hang out again, okay Steve? My birthday's right around the corner.

Tuesday, June 19

In no-nonsense language, this article blasts Ev (aka the blogger guy) in a very big way.

I believe Ev is a good guy. I think Ev is a nice guy as well (when I asked him, he gave me some source code which was a starting point for the ASP/XML parser used and given away at hivelogic). The article is scathing and offers a new perspective. Via Ev himself.

Leeches are segmented worms, that live mostly in freshwater ponds, lakes and marshes. They have three jaws set with sharp teeth and feast off the blood of their hosts.

They still haven't fixed the damn snack machine.

Monday, June 18

The expression "Doh!" has been officially added to the English Oxford Dictionary (and thereby officially added to the English Language itself). Here's how it's defined:
Expressing frustration at the realization that things have turned out badly or not as planned, or that one has just said or done something foolish.
Also added: Full Monty. (via Rob)

A Fear and Phobia Primer
It's completely natural to have a few phobias. Everybody does. I sure do. For example, I've got Arachnophobia: fear of spiders. Also a little touch of aviophobia (fear of flying) - but not enough to keep me off an airplane.

Then there are your less common phobias, such as Anglophobia (fear of England and English culture). Who doesn't have that! Oh, and also Arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth). Very common problem, more so for dogs than people. And my all-time favorite phobia ... Automatonophobia: fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues. Get your complete list of fears and phobias right here.

Sunday, June 17

Weird: Duct-Tape Clothing.

Friday, June 15

One day I will be King. Until then, I have this weblog.

This site can do many things because it does not have a specific topic. It is unlimited. International. Bigger than that: it is Multinational. Hivelogic, my other site, is about deconstructing the web. Over there, I don't talk about the checkout-girl at the grocery store or my car getting a flat or what I thought about a lame movie. Over there, I talk about web stuff. I link to web related things. Sometimes I publish source code.

Not here.

This page is about everything else. There will be commentary about things I think are interesting. Links to things I thought were interesting. There will be news. There will be speculation. There will be anger and there will be mirth. I may sometimes say things that are not nice. I may sometimes say things that other people are afraid to say.

I promise to be honest. I promise to be ruthless.

Above all else, I promise that when I am king, I will rule with an iron fist.

Thursday, June 14

One day I will be king.